About True Purposes and Desires
Most people think that any idea that pops into their head or any desire on which they strongly concentrate is their true desire or their true need.
It is difficult to prove to such people that sometimes, our dreams and goals are actually the results of unconscious or conscious (e.g., marketing and PR) indoctrination from outside. And the more a person is inclined to stereotypical (herd mentality), the more of his desires will be false. And this undoubtedly brings trouble into that person’s life. How? Let’s look at some specific examples:
Examples of false goals and desires
Go for curiosity to any online flea market like Avito and you’ll see a lot of new and decent things there for much less than they cost in the stores. Once these things were bought by their owners thoughtlessly, impulsively, just WHAT TO HAVE. And now people are stockpiling this junk in their homes and don’t know where to put it. At the same time, they hope to recoup some of the money they spent by reselling their impulsive purchases at these very online flea markets. Apparently, once they thought that analyzing the feasibility of buying this thing is an unnecessary mental cost. I want it and that’s it!
But things are just things. Why get so hung up on them, perishable. We have a lot of economically illiterate people in this country. Let them indulge in their unprofitable resales. It is much more interesting to speculate about human relations. Which some suggestible people build in this way, i.e. based on their false, rather than true, desires.
How many people now have children because of societally imposed stereotypes about when, how much, and from whom to have children? A lot. And you need to plan a child more consciously than another purchase at the store. Children are not a piece of junk, and you can’t just dump them on Avito.
Or here is another situation. A person gets a medical education, having wasted the best years of his youth on it. Because his parents insisted! They are, you see, hereditary doctors from a dynasty of aesculapian. That is why he studies with no joy, through effort: in front of him, there is a residency, and then perhaps a graduate degree… And at home at night he paints pictures and yearns for his unrealized ambitions. What is the result? Not a doctor by vocation and unfulfilled artist. Didn’t get anywhere. In general, hello parents!
There is another example. A person does not compare their capabilities with their desires. And begins the process of “rolling up the mountain” on the road to their dreams, looking at others: they can, and I’m bald?
As a result, such a person is exhausted and disappointed, and if he or she achieves the goal, it’s already without any joy. And to sit at the beginning of his useless quest and think hard about whether he needs it and whether it is achievable in principle – it is not about him. Then, as a rule, these people are in perpetual contemplation – what is the secret of those who get so much high from the fact that they manage to achieve something and why in principle they are capable of any achievement.
And their secret is that the goal they set for themselves is theirs! And it is the true one. When a person goes to his true dream – the road itself turns where it is necessary, and opportunities appear, and the right people meet, and obstacles are easily overcome, and in the end, such a person will feel joy, calmness, and satisfaction.
How to distinguish between false and true desires
The obvious thing here is to think with your head! Do not look at what others have, but start from your own needs, and at the same time answer a few questions honestly:
- Is my desire feasible in principle?
- Do I enjoy the process of accomplishing my goals?
- Am I driven by envy or a sense of inferiority because I don’t have something?
- If I do something if I buy it if I achieve it, will it give me long-lasting positive emotions or itchy hemorrhoids?
- Have I been honest with myself in answering these questions?
- The truthfulness of desire does not mean that your path will be strewn with roses. There will be hardships and setbacks, missteps, mistakes, etc. But what you won’t have is a feeling of futility of spent efforts in the process and bitter disappointment afterward.